Acroama

I really didn’t expect she would.  She did. … My pet fish, Marvin, isn’t someone I introduce people to until I think they’re ready. I wasn’t always this way. When I first got him and still had that naive glow in my eye, I was eager to show Marvin off to anyone who showed the slightest interest, or frankly, even those who showed no interest at all. I’ve since learned to wait.  Marvin is different from most fish. I found him on a voyage many years ago to the Marsupial Islands.  My crew and I were floating just beyond the shore. We had spent the day on the island and were now returning to our ship. Moonlight lit the beach turning the sand cold and blue. Food and water had become sparse. We had scoured much of the island, and still didn’t have enough supplies for our return journey. That’s when Marvin appeared.  My wool trousers were soaked and full of wet sand, weighing several pounds more than they did before I pushed our wooden dinghy into the waves. As soon as I clam...

Once upon a time, there was a little honey bee named, Keen.  Keen wanted to find true love. He felt like if he did, he would be the happiest bee in the world!! It felt like his calling in life to love someone that much, and to be loved that much by someone in return.  Keen also wanted to go to Paris really badly. He thought it was a beautiful, magical place, and so romantic. He imagined taking in the view of the Eiffel Tower at sunset with his little lady. It was going to be awesome.  Day after day, Keen would rush from flower to flower, sure that he was going to bump into that special person one day, and he’d just know. You know?  But you see, Keen was so busy that he didn’t really appreciate the people who were around him as much. He would cut a conversation short, or he’d dismiss other precious little bees because they weren’t her. He didn’t want to waste any time!  Keen started to feel sad, you see. He lived in Ohio, and Paris started to feel further and fur...

Crissy the caterpillar wanted nothing more than to become a butterfly.  She had been told by her parents many times that one day she would begin eating a lot, would build her cocoon, and before she knew it — she would emerge a big beautiful butterfly.  There was only one problem. Crissy was afraid of the dark, and the thought of being trapped in a dark cocoon for so long scared her.  JUST AS THE BUTTERFLIES said, she began eating more. Crissy became plumper and plumper. Everyone kept telling her it was almost time to cocoon — but Crissy kept putting it off because of how afraid she was.  Her roost began calling her silly for being scared of the dark. Crissy’s parents began to worry for her. As she got bigger and bigger she drew the attention of more than just her fellow caterpillars and butterflies. Crissy’s parents had warned her about things like spiders and birds all her life — and unfortunately the plump and now very popular caterpillar drew the attention of a ve...

Honestly I’m pretty upset. And that’s rare for me. This is Faje by the way. I’ve had tons of friends, who mean a lot to me, suddenly start acting all weird around me. They usually made fun of my little mandibles; and though that does hurt my feelings, the thing that makes me the most upset is everything that’s happened with the rat. Or as they call it, the “rant.”  The other roaches don’t think I pay much attention to the human world. And though I’m no pollentician — I pay more attention than they think. And one thing I distinctly know — is that the fuzzy long-toothed creature with a werm for a tale — is called a fr-eaking “rat.” Sorry, I’m usually not this upset about stuff, but everything that’s happened recently really rubs me the wrong way. I’ve lost all my friends. And worst of all, they say it’s all my fault.  NOW THAT ALL THE humans are gone we’ve gone outside of the house a lot more. We found a lot more food and that’s good, but now that there are no more humans we’re ...

Maximus the bull was beloved by many. People frequently would come and adore him in his pasture from afar. One day a man named Marcus came to see the bull.  Marcus owned an antique store in town, and though few people came to see what was there, he owned many precious things. Decorated throughout the store were old books he’d never read, some cool records from the 80s, ancient arrowheads, and much more. Marcus even had some china dishes that dated back as early as the Ming Dynasty! As Marcus observed Maximus behind the crowd, he was shocked to see the bull make direct eye contact with him. As soon as Maximus noticed Marcus, he became extremely excited.  Maximus the bull had been tired of the same old thing day after day. He wanted a life more than was given to him inside the pasture, even though he loved it dearly. He had heard some people speak of Marcus as a man of great culture and charisma. He wanted to become like Marcus. So when he saw him that day – he went to go meet h...

Katelin knew her parents didn’t like her going into the forest alone. People stronger and smarter than Katelin often did not come back. Yet she went anyway; all the time. Katelin had long red hair that flowed in curls, over her shoulders and down her back. She usually had her hair tied up, but today was special.  But it wasn’t her hair that alerted the wolf that she had returned that day– it was her smell. Katelin was the village midwife, and she had just delivered a baby yesterday. Though her hands were scrubbed clean, the wolf could still smell the blood from at least a mile away. He wondered if her hair would be down or not. He began running as fast as he could to her.  Katelin knew the forest was dangerous. And truth be told, that’s one of the reasons she came so frequently. But what she told herself was that she came for the flowers that only grew in the wild forest. It was a tradition of hers to give them to the women who had just delivered their babies. Whether they wou...

The following story is one of our most beloved and important stories. We tell these to those who are feeling left out or are in need of a good pal. We apologize to any humans reading this because we roaches don’t quite understand your world. Hopefully this gives you an understanding of what our world is like, and shows you our hopes for a more friendly future between humans and roaches.  EEK, FAJE AND LUMP were scuttling through the walls of the home making their usual rounds. It was 3:00am — the time when humans would least notice the little cockroaches nibbling away at their food. When suddenly they heard a loud and deep, BOOM!  A massive explosion had erupted throughout the land!  Ruminski and the U.F. had been threatening a nukleon war for over 5 decades now. After the president of the U.F. raked and cooked the Ruminskin president’s cousin’s nephew’s step-sister’s niece — it was the straw that broke the cambles back. When the president of Ruminski was woken and told t...