The Monster in the Sky: C H A P T E R 4 - Xavier

I plunged deep into the water. I opened my eyes wary of an attack from Xavier, and thrashed my arms furiously to get to the surface. Panic surged through all of my limbs. As I swam upward a tentacle wrapped around my leg. In shock I exhaled all my air. My lungs began to burn. The tentacle pulled me fast and hard to the surface. The tentacle released my leg and I laid there in a deep dark fog gasping for breath. I rose to my feet as quickly as I could and was ready to attack. 

I could see almost nothing. I was surrounded by darkness. I walked forward with trepidation until my foot kicked something forward. I picked it up and immediately could tell it was a fishing rod. Suddenly behind me in the distance I heard the cooing of a dove. I followed the cooing, and as I got closer I could see that the dove was radiating light. When I got to the dove — the light it gave was enough to show me that I was in a completely different place. Around me floating in the air were doors everywhere. They were sideways.

I then looked down and realized that I was standing on nothing but mist. My stomach twisted, and I froze, fearing I would fall. The dove was perched on the side of a door — it looked at me as if it had been waiting for me. As I got closer I reached cautiously for the handle of the door. I turned the knob to open the door. Nothing was behind it. The door fell flat on its side. 

The dove flew away to the next door above me in the air. I felt I should follow it. The tentacles in my mind suggested taking a step into the air. I took a step upward to walk through the mist. I couldn’t see what was sustaining me in the air, but as I put weight on my foot — the mist became as sure as stone. I walked cautiously towards the glowing dove. When I got to the next door, I opened it and found nothing behind it again. I continued in this way for a time, astonished by what I was experiencing — I took very little thought of Xavier. I could feel his presence everywhere, and occasionally at the edges of the mist I could faintly see his large tentacles heaving themselves either slowly or very quickly through the air.

I had been chasing the dove to the empty doors for what felt like hours. I became so confident in my chase, that I began sprinting through the air. I was out of breath, and didn’t understand this game; but I needed to follow the dove. It was the only light around, and I felt it was guiding me to Sadie. Eventually I sat down against the door I had just reached, confused and exhausted. 

As I sat against the door trying to catch my breath — instead of flying away again, the dove hopped from the edge of the door and onto my shoulder. Its feet tickled and gently poked my skin as it crawled across my neck to the other shoulder. It gave a small jump and flutter of its wings to perch on the doorknob. That’s when I saw that the door I was sitting against had flowers painted on it. This was the door to my fathers home; the home he left me in his will; the door that Sadie and Megan painted with flowers; the home that Xavier destroyed. 

I rose to my knees and reached for the handle — but the dove pecked my fingers. I was shocked; my trust in this creature almost instantly disappeared. I kept reaching for the doorknob, but the bird was persistent. My fingers began to bleed. The tentacles began coursing through my mind to fight the urge to swat the bird away. 

Suddenly next to me a door got smashed into pieces. I looked over at the giant tentacle dimly lit by the light of the dove. I could feel Xavier’s anger. It was at this moment I realized Xavier was the one who had been manipulating my feelings and thoughts in the cabin. These were his tentacles in my mind. I was horrified. As his tentacle slid back into the darkness —  I felt the tentacle in my mind retreat further into the back of my consciousness. I dwelled for a moment on my time at the cabin, and the change that had happened in my heart. How could Xavier have possibly been the one responsible for my healing? 

I looked back to the dove; it flew from the doorknob. As it flew away it grew in light. The dove used its wings to disperse the cloudy mists, and its light grew brighter and brighter until it illuminated the whole space with light. The clouds parted to reveal Xavier’s massive form. I could now see Xavier clearly. He was massive and doors surrounded him and extended into the misty distance for as far as I could see. 

Xavier’s green eyes peered into the darkest corners of my being — like it did that day in the field. And though he was right before me he felt so far away; his eyes were still at least a mile from me. In an instant Xavier broke my gaze and swung one of his tentacles forward and presented a key before me. I knew I needed this to open the door. I looked down at the rod in my hand. Without hesitation I reared back and launched the line towards the key with all my might! The line landed perfectly on the key. As I pulled back on the rod with all my strength, I swear I could see joy in the monsters' eyes. 

I wrestled the key from Xavier! I reeled it in and held it for a moment in my hand. Xavier reached his tentacle furiously forward and I braced for an attack. To my surprise, he wrapped his tentacle around the door and turned it vertically. I looked at the closed door before me and wondered if behind it was more pain, if this all was some twisted cosmic torture for his pleasure — or if Sadie was truly there. Xavier’s massive form held completely still in rapt anticipation. I slowly plunged the key into the lock — and turned. As I opened the door, light poured out from behind it, and I felt someone gently pull the door open from the other side as well.

STANDING BEHIND THE DOOR was my wife Megan holding Sadie’s hand. I fell to my knees and immediately began sobbing. I could see in their sweet smiles that they were happy. They weren’t afraid and were no longer in pain. To my suprise, Sadie was the same age as her mother; but I knew it was her. I saw the child in her still. She looked so much like my Megan.

Xavier’s tentacles weaved their way back into my mind. As I had learned in the cabin — I didn’t resist them. They assured me that what I saw before me was real. Megan and Sadie were alive and safe. They stepped forward, and kneeling in front of me wrapped me in their arms. 

“We knew you would find us.” Megan said with a softness and a tenderness in her voice that I hadn’t heard since the beginning of our marriage. My sweet daughter Sadie wept and looked at me with such pride and joy. Tears streaming down her beautiful unscarred face. How could she be proud of me? I felt a great amount of relief knowing that the harm I had caused my family had not been permanent. Megan looked at me and in earnest said, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for everything.” 

I had decided I could never forgive Megan for what she did and the destruction she had brought upon our family — but I now felt nothing but pure love and forgiveness in my heart. There was not a trace of anger left in my soul. “There’s nothing to forgive, Megan,” I said between my sobs, “I’m the one who needs to apologize.” Megan simply retorted, “There’s nothing to forgive.” She pulled my face up to hers, and kissed me tenderly on the lips. With our eyelids closed and foreheads pressed together, she quietly uttered, “I love you, David.” I hadn’t been called by my name in a very long time. 

I could see now that Xavier had not taken them to hurt me; he took them into his care and healed them. Like he had done with me. Tears of gratitude and peace flowed down my skin. 

The dove returned again and landed on my shoulder, and Xavier gently pulled to the front of my mind a vision of the ships. I saw myself fishing for him. I knew what Xavier wanted from me. I could see that it wasn’t my time to walk through the door and join Megan and Sadie – not yet. With sadness, peace, and confidence I rose to my feet. Without exchanging a word, I saw that Sadie and Megan knew what I was being asked to do. “We’re not going anywhere,” Megan reassured in her sweet voice. 

Xavier pulled forward a door from the distance and turned it upwards vertically. It was the door that led to the hull of a ship. I could now recognize that wood from anywhere – the grains were rich with lost souls and flight. I glanced once more at my family's loving and proud faces, then looked back at Xavier's venerable eyes. I chill went down my spine, peace filled my heart, and I walked through the door. 

I’VE BEEN A CAPTAIN for years now on my own ship. I yearn to return to my Sadie and Megan forever — and I know Xavier will make it so. Xavier has promised me more than I ever had in the first place, and I will do whatever he asks of me. I’m sure the stragglers look at me the way I looked at Chris when he roped me into the ship. They call me brainwashed — and I’m still not sure what to say in reply. Xavier destroyed my home, he stripped me down until there was nothing left, and then built me into what he needed me to be. Maybe that means I am brainwashed; I don't really know. But at the end of each day I climb to the top of the mast on my ship and look into the sunset setting behind Xavier, and think of what I've been promised. I trust Xavier; He has given me a new home, a better home than I’ve ever had, and it waits for me when my service is through.